up to one hundred thousand local brighton residents are set to take part in one the biggest demonstrations the city has ever seen following the start of work on an offshore windfarm.
“it’s bringing together the community like nothing i’ve ever seen before” said a local introvert who spoke through his letter box.
people are so worried that there is talk about a truce between local BNP and ANTIFA groups.
“some of us are really against it, but we’re not strong swimmers and would never make it out there” said ‘stiff steve’ who lives in a squat.
without boats
sussex police are considering asking the royal navy to bring the hms ark royal back to service to protect the wind farm. a senior detective who wishes to be anonymous told us:
“people will try and destroy this eye sore, and understandably so, but if you put a big aircraft carrier in the way so that the locals can’t see the wind farm, I reckon they’ll forget all about it. there’s a lot of drugs in this town and people’s memories are terrible. we could even pay some teaching assistants a fiver to paint it sea colour.”
caroline lucas was unavailable for comment, which is very unlike her, but kemptown’s gay tory mp simon kirby has been against it since the start. many locals believe the i360 is actually another giant wind turbine, but the council haven’t said anything about it yet. what do you think? we’d love to know.
here’s the classic dk song “riot” to get you in the mood.
“windfarms don’t work” – nuclear scientist
“windfarms reverse weather and can cause storms in strange places” – anon
” just say no” – zamo