why should you always eat your salad?

we know that most people can’t be bothered to read too much anymore, so we’re going to try and get this through to you as easily as possible.

pizza diet

what does this mean to the average pizza eater? well it’s simple, provided you are terrible at maths and believe any old shit you can eat as much of it as you like. so long as you EAT YOUR SALAD

lettuce generates negative fat fields when eat before, during or after pizza. these negative fat fields are similar to a lot of beauty products in that they sound good and give the impression they do pretty rad stuff. placebos have been proven to burn fat faster than exercise in concentration camps.

you’ve been warned.

 

ban stupid petitions

this is not irony for the sake of irony. you know the drill.

“All too often my news feed gets stupid petitions thrown up, the latest asking god to send back David Bowie. Some people may think this is light hearted, but in reality, not only are they are a waste of everyone’s time, they belittle the desperate causes that really do need attention and support as well as the the platforms upon which they reside. Can you please stop stupid petitions being permitted? ” – Tina Fleabag

– click here to help stop stupid petitions –

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“there is mass procrastination going on in the west, and it could have some serious heavy consequences.” – duplex5000(rapper)